Timesheet Jokes (1)
John is a simple man. He comes into work, sits in front of his desk and essentially, by the end of the day, is ready to go mad. Why is this you ask? It is due to the endless paper work created by billable hours and invoices. However, all this can magically disappear thanks to the awesome power of the time sheet software. This new and innovative software will make all the troubles with time slips, billable hours and time sheets go away. The time billing activity will no longer feel like an epic battle between good and evil. The time sheet software is so user friendly, even those individuals who had to show up to school on the short bus all those years will be able to make their own lives that much easier. Billable hours are one of those things that can drive a normal person into the depths of evil. Time slips have been known to come from the deepest darkest areas of Lucifer’s domain. But the counter to this incredibly evil sight is the time sheet software. It has been blessed by the lady in the lake. The one true hero will one day battle through DCAA compliance in order to obtain the magical time sheet software. This magical item has been known to destroy time slips. Eliminate complex billable hours. The magical item gives a positive increase of agility and strength by 35 to all individuals who are pure of heart. But be warned, if you pick up the time sheet software and are not of pure heart, you will fall onto your hands and knees and begin to chat over and over again, time sheet, time tracker, invoice, and invoicing. You will chant these words repeatedly until that time comes when billable hours are no longer necessary. This will be obviously a very long time.
The time sheet software has also been known to increase the amount of testosterone and estrogen that is produced in a male and female. However, if over exposed to this amount of time sheet software, a person can develop an addiction to time slips and time sheets. According to legend, the mighty Xerox descended upon the mortal plain eons ago to pass a fable which was possibly a warning of some sort. The wise-men of the time felt that this was the way the gods had taught the mortals. However, it was a regular person who created the epic time sheet software. It was a mortal man who found ways to eliminate time slips, time sheets, and invoices.
One day, the mighty Tomir had happened upon a large crater filled with time slips and time sheets. Smelling the stench of the evil time tracker, Tomir removed the time sheet software from its restful sheath. He slowly descended down the slopes of the crater. The air around him was thick, and murky, which made it hard for him to breathe. He took out a piece of the invoice which had the information for his quest. The instructions were simple. He was to visit the great crater of time sheet slopes and find out if there any connections to the evil one.
After finally making his way down, Tomir at last found what he was looking for. Xenu, the evil one, leader of all time slip and dirty time sheets. The lord of the dreaded paper trail.