Timesheet Jokes (2)
Yes the great Xenu of the time slip and time sheet lairs. The lord of paper trails has finally arrived. No invoice or invoicing mattered now. Tomir knew what he must do. Slowly, he raised his magical sword called the time sheet software and pointed directly at Xenu. “Hail, great evil one. You have obviously come to bog down the corporations’ ability to free itself from the dreaded paper trail of doom,” says Tomir.
Laughing Xenu simply turned around. Upon his body were an assortment of time slips and invoices. His back too was covered with long forgotten parchment that contained valuable information regarding the sacred DCAA compliance policies. “Yes little creature, I have brought doom to your planet,” and with a loud roar, Xenu took a time slip made of razor sharp words that contained the invoices of old at might Tomir.
Tomir, with the grace of the ancient time tracker, merely took a step to dodge Xenu’s attack. Lifting his time sheet software of a thousand truths, Tomir leaped from his position and lunged at Xenu. The attack was relentless, invoices and time sheets flew everywhere. Tomir had pierced the mighty thick flesh of Xenu. The wound spilled not blood but a gooey green substance that was made up of old DCAA compliance documents.
Suddenly, from a distance, Tomir hears “Barry! Barry you lazy stupid fuck. Get your head out of your ass and start entering those time sheets into the data base. Do not forget to use the time sheet software either. Without it, the time tracker will have a hard time keeping a record of all the billable hours and invoice. You understand Harry!”
Reluctantly, Harry switched off the television show that was in his mind. Back in reality, Barry realized he had a very large pile of time sheets and time slips to still enter into the time sheet software. His company had been pressured to convert all of its data keeping activities over to this time sheet software due to the new pressures in being DCAA compliant. Every few minutes, the time tracker would come out and check on Harry’s progress. This was annoying to poor Barry due to the fact that he could have been the greatest wizard of all. But instead, fate had him placed in Oral Max Incorporated. The company creates dental damps, condoms and other useful contraceptives for men and women. As you can see, a factory this large would accumulate large amounts of time slips and time sheets. Their time tracker had already began to show sign of the horrible illness known as the office crap.
The time tracker, known as Tobias was always harassing Barry. One minute he was wearing a traditional suit and tie, the next he was shorts that were quite fitting. The time tracker was a mystery. Some believe that he was so horrible, others felt like he was just a special individual that needed the extra attention. At that moment, when he was a sleep, check and see you have any poison.